I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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