toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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