just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
