i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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