I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize