You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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