I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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