why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
