It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize