New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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