im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize