Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
