Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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