Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
