well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
