Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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