i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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