I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish you could order shots online.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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