remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
