is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
