We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
