Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
