when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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