so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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