i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
