I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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