i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
