There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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