I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
