So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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