perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
