im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
