dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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