of course. lets lasso hookers.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
