Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
