If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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