Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
