Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize