They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
