He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize