No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
