it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
