She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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