i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
