Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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