That's when you crack a 10am beer
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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