I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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