Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
