I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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