My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
