I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
