my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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