If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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