I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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