In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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