So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize