Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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