This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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