unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
