Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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