Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize