That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
