he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
