Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
