think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Screwed.edu
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
