Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
