im drinking this country out of the recession.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
