it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
