you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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