Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
