..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize