i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
