I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
