you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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