Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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